Butter me up with a bacon butty! (Veggies beware: may contain meat)
Ah the good ol’ bacon sarnie – a national institution. Nothing more than a godsend, the elixir of life that, being so versatile, it can provide the antidote to almost anything (unless you’re a vegetarian, of course, then you have to confide in a nice leafy salad or some quorn-fuelled catastrophe!). Yet despite this obvious incredibility there still seems to be some doubters amongst the masses! I believe that this is something that needs to be redressed, starting here.
Proof is in the taste.
Above all, the bacon sandwich is renowned for its unequivocally finger-licking flavour. Just one measly bite around the peripheries of its palatable perimeter will tell you how delicious this work of culinary art really is! Shamefully, even as I write this a solitary drool has managed to escape the clutches of my mouth and find its way onto my keyboard – if that’s not evidence for how tasty they are then I don’t know what is! Unrivalled by other foods, the bacon sarnie represents everything good about having taste-buds (God forbid if my bacon-tasting ones ever die out!), never failing to get those juices going. Delicious, delectable, divine.
Has hunger ever left you feeling too hungry to cook? Well it has for me. The disappointment of opening the fridge and seeing nothing ‘quick and easy’ to make is almost unbearable but then, shining with an ethereal glow like a forgotten jewel, is a pack of… BACON! Unlike the sausage, bacon is simple and speedy to cook. Slap on the grill (or frying pan if you prefer), butter up some bread and squirt on the sauce like there’s no tomorrow and, before you know it, you’re teeth-deep in a grease-ridden-Elysium – what could be more heavenly?
12 midnight – 12 midnight. As opposed to the majority of food, a bacon butty has an eating window of 24 hours (give or take a few seconds). Whether it be first thing in the morning, a warm-up for lunch or even a midnight snack-ette there is no inappropriate time to devour some of the good stuff. What is more, this sandwich has the capability of bathing itself in any condiment of your choice! From tomato to brown, Branston pickle to… well anything to be honest. So, like with time, the beauty of them is that there are no rules because, as far as the little piggy that went to market but unfortunately got stuck between two slices of Hovis, anything goes!
Now I don’t mean how the meat is prepared but how it is popularly used, certainly in the UK region, as a form of medicine. For many partygoers the morning after is not a welcoming experience – headaches, nausea, the occasional Sunday prayer to your porcelain God… sound familiar? Well one should not worry too much in the knowledge that there is rasher-shaped remedy hiding somewhere in their kitchen just dying to be eaten. Alas, forget your worries and choke the putrid smell that creeps its way downstairs from the toilet in search of your nasal cavities as you stir up a healthy dose of pork!
I feel as if I could go on forever here but, as bacon has proved for many years now, sometimes its better to put things in small packages… Long Live Earl Sandwich of Bacon!